Jack Versus the Abequan
by SheDreamsOfWorlds
Summary: -or- How Martha Got Her Groove Back-After a rough week, Jack figures Martha could use a vacation to ease back into time/space travel, and he knows just the place.  Now if only it weren't for that pesky translation software...  3rd in 10/Martha/Jack Series


Jack Versus the Abequan

-or-

How Martha Got Her Groove Back

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The TARDIS ground its way into existence on the edge of a pristine tropical beach. Behind it, palm trees swayed in the ocean breeze. The door swung open and the Doctor stepped out wearing a length of coarse woven indigo fabric wrapped around his narrow hips and pale yellow grasses tied around his waist, biceps and calves.

"Is it the right planet, Doctor?" Martha's voice called from within the TARDIS.

"Is this the right—? Of course it's the right planet!" the Doctor said. "This is definitely Abequa; an entire planet composed of tiny tropical islands."

"And it's the right season out there? I'm not about to step out in this getup and find myself in a blizzard, am I?" Martha asked.

"Seventy-five and sunny," the Doctor answered. Martha cautiously peered out behind him, crossing her arms self consciously over her middle. "You look lovely," the Doctor said.

Martha was dressed similarly to the Doctor with the addition of a strip of the indigo fabric tied around her breasts and multiple strands of lumpy freshwater pearls about her neck. "I don't see why we had to get into costume," Martha said. "What's wrong with wearing a proper bathing suit?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Jack said as he stepped out confidently behind Martha. He was dressed identically to the Doctor, but his extra body mass and bold smile made all the difference. He looked good and he knew it.

"The people of Abequa venerate nature and all things natural," the Doctor explained. "This island doesn't appear to be inhabited, but if it is, it wouldn't do to offend them with lycra and spandex."

"Besides, the whole 'island girl' look suits you," Jack said with his most charming smile. Martha smiled back, looking flattered.

The Doctor cast an envious look at Jack. He self consciously touched his lower ribs where they poked through his skin and missed his last regeneration. Sure, he'd had big ears then, but at least he'd been more filled out. He grabbed Martha's hand and dragged her away. "Come on, then! We didn't come all this way to stand around the TARDIS!"

They spent the afternoon swimming in the turquoise waters and enjoying the pristine white beach. Jack silently congratulated himself on coming up with their destination. The islands of Abequa had made an excellent place to stash things back when he'd done a bit of smuggling. That was before he'd gotten into running larger cons, but still, it was the perfect place to ease Martha back into planet hopping.

The Doctor flopped down in the sand between Martha and Jack with a grin and handed her a slice of fruit.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Abequan equivalent of a starfruit," he answered, taking a bite of his slice. He handed Jack a piece as well.

"Oh, I haven't had one of these in two hundred years," Jack groaned with juice trickling down his chin. He caught the Doctor looking and waggled his eyebrows. The Doctor quickly looked away and Jack laughed aloud.

"Don't tease," Martha chided, giving Jack a small shove.

"Honey, it's not teasing if you follow through," Jack said with a grin.

"Do either of you hear that?" the Doctor asked.

They grew quiet and they heard the sound of many people singing in the distance. They stood and listened as the sound grew closer and closer. A chorus of female voices seemed to call out and a chorus of male voices answered. After a few minutes, the singers came into view. Men and women, elders and children, in what appeared to be family groups stepped out of the sheltering palms. They were dressed much like the time travelers, but they wore more decorative shells and feathers in great headdresses and hip bands.

The singers cast a few surprised looks at the time travelers, but they did not interrupt their song as they gathered in a ragged line facing the sun where the waves lapped at the sand. Their song grew in intensity as the sky turned orange, and every so often a lone singer would call out above the rest.

Martha found herself drawn to them and she joined the singers at the edge of the shore, followed by Jack and the Doctor. She ached to know the words to join their song, but the TARDIS did not translate.

Finally, the last glowing sliver of their fiery sun slipped beneath the ocean waves and a cheer went up from the gathered crowd. There were smiles all around and people clapped each other on the back. Food and drink were brought out and passed around, and a man unslung a drum from his back and tapped out a complex rhythm. Twin brothers brought out pipes and wove a duet with a sparkle in their eyes.

"This is amazing," Martha whispered to her companions as the food was passed their way.

"Looks like the head man is coming our way now," the Doctor said. Surely enough, a middle aged man with a truly elaborate headdress was making his way toward them. The Doctor stepped forward and clasped arms with him, then leaned in and pressed noses together twice, sharing the breath of life.

"You are new to our island," he said in what was clearly a question.

"We're really just passing through," the Doctor said.

"Nonsense, nonsense! New blood is always good!" the head man said, clapping him solidly on the back. The Doctor managed to stay upright, but only barely. "It is time for my old bones to retire for the night, but you youngsters have fun," he said with a wink. He nodded to Jack and Martha and headed back into the palms. It seemed most of the older folks and parents with young children were headed back to their village, leaving the teens and young adults to their party.

Campfires had sprung up on the beach and several more drums had been produced. Several girls had begun dancing, rolling their hips rapidly to the beat while their hands gracefully formed what appeared to be a sort of sign language.

One girl, no more than twelve years old, took the center and began busting out moves way too old for her. She was apparently considered a good dancer because a cheer went up as she broke it down. Her moment was short lived though as a woman marched back out of the trees and grabbed her by the hand, scolding her until they disappeared back into the trees. The girl grinned back at the crowd, unrepentant, and waved before disappearing.

"Mom," Martha and Jack said at the same time, grinning at each other.

"Why are they celebrating?" Martha asked.

"They lived another beautiful day. The sun set successfully," Jack shrugged.

"Has it ever been…unsuccessful?" Martha asked.

"These people live _immersed_ in nature," the Doctor said. "Good weather is everything."

"Now that," Jack said, mesmerized by the dancers, "is a sight worth celebrating." He wandered away, practically in a trance.

Martha and the Doctor laughed as they watched him go. "Like a moth to a flame," the Doctor said, shaking his head.

"Do you dance?"

Martha jumped. One of the dancers had approached while she was busy watching Jack make a fool of himself. It was so obviously a _women's_ dance, but Jack never did seem to notice silly little things like gender roles.

"Um, I never learned?" Martha said shyly.

"Come," the girl said. "We will show you!" She grabbed Martha's hand and towed her back to the other dancers.

The Doctor settled back with a drink and watched his companions dance. Martha was a natural and Jack looked downright silly. The girls seemed to get a kick out of him though.

After a while the girls took a break and some of the men stepped up to dance. Their dance had similar hand motions but displayed more strength. Then there was the sound of fire rapidly igniting and two guys stepped forward and began twirling balls of flame at the end of short lengths of rope. They wove complex patterns through the air to the throbbing of the drums. The drums beat faster and faster until they gave one last resounding beat and the dancers slammed the fiery orbs into the sand. One last cheer went up from the crowd.

Martha watched as the people drifted off in pairs. There was a bit of jostling among the guys and then one broke free and approached her with a hopeful smile.

"I admired your dancing," he said shyly, "and I was hoping you would be my wife?"

Martha was shocked and flattered. "Wow…I mean, I would, but I'm with the Doctor," she said, gesturing to where he sat watching. The guy looked disappointed, but gave her a hug and went back to his friends. Martha went to join the Doctor before anyone else could surprise her with a proposal.

Meanwhile, a similar scene was unfolding around Jack, but the charming captain was physically incapable of denying the pretty girl who grabbed his hands and tugged him toward the trees. Before long they came to a small hut and the girl smiled up at him. "Come, husband."

Jack felt his stomach drop to his feet. "Husband?" he squeaked. He backed away, extracting his hand from hers. "But…I mean, I can't…I thought we were just gonna, you know, have a bit of fun," he said, quirking his eyebrows. "You seem very nice, but we can't be married."

The girl looked horrified. "You would conjugate without being joined in the eyes of the gods?" She backed away from him. "That is a sin against nature." She turned and ran back toward the beach.

"Aw, wait!" Jack called, following after her. The girl was standing with a group of men and gesturing angrily when he broke free of the trees. They looked up at him with narrowed eyes.

"Oops! Doctor! Martha! Time to run!" Jack called. They fell in behind him without question and they ran for the TARDIS, followed closely by a mob of angry Abequan. They made it through the doors and slammed them shut behind them just as the mob reached them and began pounding on the doors.

"Just like old times," Martha grinned as the Doctor took them up into orbit. "So…?" Martha looked at Jack questioningly.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Why did the Abequan form a mob after you went off that girl for only a minute?" the Doctor asked.

Jack looked embarrassed. "The girl wanted to marry me," he muttered, "but I told her I was just looking for a bit of fun."

Martha and the Doctor dissolved into laughter.

"Jack," the Doctor gasped, "to the Abequan, who venerate nature as you recall, all things relating to procreation are given the highest reverence."

Jack looked confused.

"It's a weakness in the TARDIS's translation programming," the Doctor elaborated. "If there's no direct equivalent of a word, it fills in with the closest English concept. In this case, the literal joining of man and woman before the gods becomes translated to _marriage_."

"Well, I still don't want to marry a stranger, no matter how hot she is," Jack said, frowning.

"The Doctor explained it all to me after some bloke asked me to be his wife," Martha said. "In their society, it's a temporary union, not a lifelong commitment."

Jack's face went slack. "So she just wanted…"

"A one night stand," Martha nodded, laughing.

Jack's shoulders slumped. "Aw, man. She was hot too. I can't believe I turned her down."

"_And_ got us chased by a mob for defying nature," the Doctor pointed out with a quirked eyebrow. "But you're an expert at that so I shouldn't have been surprised." He had stifled his laughter, but it still shone at the corners of his eyes.

"At least I got this brilliant headdress before you got us chased off," Martha said, pointing at the iridescent green feathers that framed her face. "Traded a string of those freshwater pearls for it. The hip band cost me two." She gave her hips a little swish.

"Oh yeah," Jack grinned, perking up immediately. "Got a sexy island girl right here." He moved to follow her as she headed for her room, but was stopped by a playful hand on his chest.

"Uh uh," Martha said smiling. "It's too chilly in here for this getup, so I'm going to change. _Alone_." She cast one last smile at them both and left with a saucy swish of her tail feathers.

Jack watched her go. The Doctor cleared his throat and Jack's mouth closed with a snap.

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_Author's novel: First off, my thanks to the people who reviewed the final chapter of _The Caretaker_:barbara87413, angnay, sadhappygirl, and kendrawriter. Thanks for sticking with me. I have another adventure for our heroes in the works, so be on the lookout: A TARDIS could use a quick pitstop to ancient Cardiff to refuel. What could go wrong?_

_And now some notes on Abequa: Abequa is pretty much based on my personal fantasy land. I got the name Abequa by sticking my real name into a really lame random name generator which appeared to only have about twenty names in it. It is supposedly Chippewa for 'stays at home,' which really has nothing to do with either the meaning or even a phonetic translation of my real name. I basically chose it as the name for my planet of islands because I liked the 'q' sound and it has the word 'aqua' in it, evoking images of tropical turquoise waters. Besides, why pass up the opportunity to be harmlessly egotistical and name my fantasy land after myself?_

_I live within walking distance of the beach on a very large body of water, and though my town is very poor (having been a factory town where manufacturing has since dried up) and frankly very ghetto, I am always struck by how people gather at the beach at sunset to watch the sun sink into the water. It is amazing to see all the faces turned toward the sun like flowers, watching in hushed appreciation as the sun darkens to a fiery orange and slips into the lake. They truly look like they should be singing the sun into the water. It is at those times that I feel very much a part of an all encompassing human tribe. _

_The other aspects of the Abequan people are heavily influenced by Polynesian art and culture; the Maori sharing of breath which was shown in the movie _Whale Rider_; the spinning of fire poi, and Tahitian dance; both of which I do not know much about culturally, but having seen them performed, find exceedingly beautiful. Aside from their cultural significance, it is in the nature of young people to show off for each other; to display their skill and daring or sexiness and flirt with each other, and those art forms is very suited to it._

_And finally, I am of a tropical island people, but my culture is long gone; extinguished by Columbus, that greatest of destroyers. So, I hope that any Polynesian that should read this understands that I allow myself to bask in the glow of their culture for a moment with the deepest respect, for I am set adrift._


End file.
